Working private cases can be emotionally taxing

One of the things that happens when you become part of the paranormal field and have some sort of presence on social media is that people will contact you and ask for help. Sometimes it’s just that they took a photo and they want your opinion about it. Usually you debunk the photo and they get very defensive and angry with you because you point out that what they captured is simply a bug, lens flare from dust particles etc and even though you can back up your information they have it feeling like you have attacked them and getting angry. Or they’re mad because you didn’t fall for the ghost app-edited photo that their friend’s sister’s roommate’s uncle took, but they still stand by the photo as legit. For that reason I don’t actually review photos anymore.

What I do look at are the real people who contact me for advice or help. They are usually people who feel that there is some activity going on in their own home. Sometimes all they need is a quick chat on the phone, and that’s that. In some cases they want you to participate and make a home visit. Many paranormal groups like to do this, but don’t advertise it because it’s a very personal matter and you don’t want to be advertising someone else’s private business all over Facebook just to prove that you’ve done an investigation. There’s a lot of emotion involved and generally speaking, the private cases I’ve worked on in the past have always involved a lot more than just a few bumps in the night.

I find these cases extremely emotionally taxing. Usually something happens in their lives that puts them at a low point. Whether or not there is paranormal activity, it must always be addressed and you feel obligated to help your fellow human being in need. This is where the emotional part comes into play. Maybe it’s because they’ve reached a breaking point, maybe it’s because you have a common interest in the paranormal or maybe just because you’re a stranger, you can become a bit of an emotional dumping ground and they confide in you. This is necessary to get the ‘bigger picture’, but it can sometimes be very difficult to sit across from someone and not feel what they are feeling. We are only human and we all have natural empathy. How can you not be affected?

Personally, I have a tendency to pick up on other people’s emotions and working on these issues used to take a huge toll on me. If I’m not ‘high on life’, so to speak, I should stay away. I can’t handle taking on someone else’s problems and my own if I’m not mentally prepared for it. For example, in the last case I worked on, I felt the emotional effects and deep anxiety that I had been picking up from the client for days. It was a big lesson for me and stayed with me. While I will always try to help someone where I can, sometimes you have to help yourself first. It remains the last private case I worked on and will remain so for these reasons.

Being a paranormal investigator is fun and I think it’s really rewarding when we can help someone. I’m not going to say that I’m a paranormal investigator because I want to help people, because that’s not entirely true. Although I want to help people and will always answer the call for help, this is not why I became a paranormal investigator. I am certainly not a paranormal expert and I am very honest and open about the fact that I am always learning, and I would never attempt to help a client alone without my more experienced people with me. When I say more experienced people, I don’t just mean people who have done research before, but also people who have experience with house clearings and private matters. People who are trained to identify people who may be suffering from mental health problems and who are trained counselors. They can’t cure them, but they can recognize that something is wrong and point them in the right direction to the professionals who can help them.

I notice that my role in a home visit always seemed to be the one who listens. I listened to whatever they wanted to tell me to make them feel better. Unfortunately, while they may feel better afterwards and feel like a burden has been lifted off their shoulders, most of the time I feel terrible because it’s like I’ve taken on that burden and weight. There are things I had to do afterwards to get rid of that and mostly it’s isolation. I need to disappear off the radar, no Facebook (coming up is one of the most negative influences I can think of), no friends, basically remove myself from the potential of anything negative and find myself again to get back on track . Half the time I don’t even know who I am, so it can be a tricky one!

I guess what I’m trying to say is that while we all see researchers running around on TV, it’s usually the case that they go in, do their research and leave. There is no emotional connection with anyone they are helping and there are no calls or messages from a client panicking at 11pm because they think something has happened. It’s not all fun and games and if it’s something you get into, this is part of it. People come to you for help and these are real people in need. The biggest surprise for me once I got involved in private affairs was the emotional toll it takes on you. I didn’t realize how deep it really goes and how emotionally connected you can become. It usually has to do with something negative and can be very difficult to address, so if you feel like you’re not emotionally ready for a case, take a step back and let someone else intervene. The client still gets the help he or she needs. need and not for the sake of your own mental health (even though given what we’re all doing, you could probably say our mental health went out the window a long time ago!)

This was actually the last private case I did. I think I did maybe 3 total and you know what? They are not for me and now when I get a call for help I refer them to other groups who are better equipped to deal with the situation. There’s no shame in saying no, I can’t do it. Remember you are playing with real life, it is not a TV show.

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