Why I won’t watch paranormal movies

Reason number 1…. Okay, I’m a bit of a scaredy cat. Put anything remotely scary or violent on TV and I can’t deal with it. I spend a lot of my time with my hands over my eyes and the result is usually that I have to sleep with the light on. It hasn’t always been this way. Movies have become a lot more real and violent over the years, but I blame my husband and his best friend for my current stance. I remember the torture they put me through during every slightly scary movie. Like at a home screening of House on Haunted Hill. They were constantly poking me and scaring me into making me jump. They left a fake handwritten note in the printer trying to convince me that none of them did it and that it was a ‘ghost’. I was in the movie during Urban Legend and took turns being scared and laughing as everyone turned to see who had screamed. Who can blame me?

A few years ago I went to see Maddame Toussards in London and the ‘Escape from the chamber of horrors’ was terrifying to me. Walking down a long dark corridor with fake spider webs, lifelike wax figures of quite disgusting things and men dressed as mental patients all trying to ‘escape’ and chasing you, grabbing you and shouting at you. Why would anyone pay for that? It was horrible! Without the few glasses of wine I drank in the pub beforehand, I wouldn’t have even dared, but I thought well when I was in Rome… (or London in my case)

I don’t even watch movies like Annabelle or Paranormal Activity. When a new movie about “ghosts” comes out, people often tag me on social media expecting me to of course go out and see the latest creepy movie! The answer is no. Cheap scares, graphic scenes, it’s just not for me.

But aren’t you a paranormal researcher?

That’s why it’s quite surprising for many people to hear that I don’t like these types of films, because they know me as a paranormal researcher. I’m the person who would like to spend a night in an abandoned insane asylum. I’m the person who drives for hours to sit in a dark cell of an old prison. How can I walk around in the dark of an empty building without being afraid? The point is that an investigation or even a ghost tour is not like in the movies. A girl with long brown hair and a hospital gown doesn’t lurk around every corner to scare us. I’m still waiting to be thrown across the room. People aren’t being killed by unseen forces and there’s no blood coming out of people’s eyes and pretty much most of what you see in the movies doesn’t actually happen in a paranormal investigation, which is why it’s called a movie. People aren’t going to pay $22 a ticket to watch a group of people sit in a room for two hours asking, “Is anyone with us?” That’s just a bad thing.

In reality, most of the time, nothing happens during a paranormal investigation. There is a lot of waiting. It involves a lot of sitting and waiting quietly. Sometimes things happen, but they may not be paranormal. A slamming door can be scary, but it is usually the result of the wind. That’s not to say that what some people consider a real paranormal experience during an investigation isn’t terrifying and emotional, because for them it is. Even though it’s still not like the movies. Many people in the paranormal community love all things paranormal and therefore love all paranormal movies. They will agree that this is not an accurate representation of what actually happens on a ghost tour, but enjoy the thrill and are usually unfazed by the violence and do not become frightened. I often hear the term “I’m a ghost hunter, it takes a lot to scare me!”

I’m here to tell you loud and proud that I am a ghost hunter and am terrified of scary movies. Luckily, I’m pretty level-headed during an investigation and it takes quite a bit of effort to scare me (let’s forget that one time I ran away) and the people I’m investigating aren’t my husband and his best friend, so we respect each other and don’t go for a cheap scare. I can tell you that if one of them did that to me, you would basically see someone throwing them across the room, and that certainly wouldn’t be paranormal!

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