We are all psychic, but not to the same degree. And there are many types of psychic abilities and forms of consciousness that we have that others do not, and vice versa. Often our abilities manifest at a very young age, as the connections between our thoughts, intuition and imagination intermingle and only later become more apparent through social conditioning or, all too often, external repression.
This article explores some thoughts on raising highly intuitive children, both from my perspective as a highly intuitive child/adult and as a parent of a highly intuitive child. All parenting is a challenge, but not in the same way or to the same extent.
Degrees of difference
Intuition, like thoughts, or physical skills exist for all of us. But to what extent matters. We can all run, but some of us can run faster and further than others. And the number of people who can run a marathon or forty meters in an elite time is minuscule compared to those who cannot. We all process information, but not at the same speed or with the same degree of understanding. There are those among us who think at elite speeds and tremendous depths.
Highly intuitive individuals, especially children, exhibit an elite level of emotional sensitivity and a form of intelligence that intersects with the mind and feelings in very useful ways. Therefore, the highly intuitive person detects emotional shifts in other people well before most people. The highly intuitive child will “know” that mom or dad is upset, while others are unaware. They will also detect the emotional fluctuations in their peers or siblings.
Although intuition is a valuable asset in life, high levels of intuition can prove problematic without proper recognition at an early age and guidance from parents or parents with highly intuitive children. You may be the parent of a highly intuitive child and are faced with the realization that your child will move through the world in a very different way than his or her peers.
Growing up as a very intuitive child
Mid-range intuition is fundamental to overall and lasting success. My parents were both intuitively within the normal range, but closer to high than low, which could contribute to their overall success in life, along with several other factors (such as race, intelligence, education, and so on). Therefore, within the dynamics of their circumstances, their natural intuition helped them maximize their opportunities and success.
My story is outside the norm because I am adopted, which is good 2% of the child populationand probably a smaller percentage when I was adopted in 1968. As I look back on my childhood, I can see how the choices my parents made, as well as their efforts on my behalf, helped me succeed rather than be overwhelmed as a highly intuitive person.
Originally, my parents wanted to adopt two boys and planned to adopt another son after I adopted them. However, they moved from the state of Virginia to South Carolina not long after I was born and the adoption process varies from state to state. Their hope to adopt another child so that we would be close in age did not come to fruition because they would have to start the process over and it would likely take much longer. As a result, I became an only child, which worked to my advantage.
My parents were also a very stable but not overbearing influence, encouraging me to be sociable and not reactionary when I withdrew, which was much more common than among my peers, even other only children. Not only did I have the circumstances to be alone, but I also needed the time alone. I remember being overwhelmed by people and other children much more quickly than my peers.
My threshold for emotional impact from others was simply lower and my parents intuitively discovered that I performed best with gentle pressure, which I applied constantly rather than the higher demands I saw from peers, some of whom had no problem with the busy, while others were. like me and crumbled or chose extreme coping mechanisms (such as early use of drugs and alcohol).
In other words, my parents did not necessarily understand or know the full extent of my sensitivity, but they made intuitive choices of their own that respected my intuitive abilities and allowed them to grow and flourish naturally.
Raising a very intuitive child
Our societies have normative values and we all know, both consciously and unconsciously, where the middle segment is. For this reason we have expressions like “average” or “most people,” and these phrases apply correctly. On average, a significant number of Americans eat fast food every day (37%). The number of people choosing a restrictive, healthy, nutritious lifestyle is an ‘outlier’.
An outlier is someone who is on the edge of or far outside the normative center. They are “a person or thing that is distant or separate from the main body or system” (dictionary.com). Highly intuitive children are outliers and have difficulty when treated as ‘normal’. One of the easiest ways to determine whether or not you have a highly intuitive child is to see how they react in situations compared to the majority of their peers or the normative standard.
If you know you have a highly intuitive child, realize that your parenting experience will also fall outside the norm, requiring you to make adjustments that could easily be viewed as coddling or “indulging” by other parents. In other words, your highly intuitive child’s status as an outlier will force you to become an outlier parent or make you work much harder to apply normative values to your child.
The important values for all children are consistent, regardless of low or extremely high intuition; and they include: developing self-confidence, high self-esteem and self-reliance. It is often the manner and duration required to bring a highly intuitive child to very different goals. Below are some suggested writers and thinkers to help you as a parent if you know or need to know if you have a highly intuitive child:
- The highly sensitive child of Elaine Aron
- Aletha Soulter’s conscious baby
- The absorbing mind of Maria Montessori
