Neptune synastry between two people can create some of the most beautiful and heartbreaking connections. If you’ve ever experienced this, you know I’m not exaggerating.
As the planet of transcendence and dreams, Neptune can bring about blissful romance. It’s all great until reality hits. Then the pain of crashing into Earth can feel worse than the most brutal Pluto transit. This is the side of Neptune that most astrologers will warn you about. But is Neptune all bad? It is certainly possible that this planet manifests its positive side in love.
Neptune can lead you astray
Let’s start with the conventional wisdom about Neptune. It can and will lead you astray in many relationships.
If you are the Neptune person (your Neptune aspects a personal planet in your partner’s chart), you are most likely the one who has been led astray. Neptune is where you are vulnerable to fantasy and where your boundaries are weakest. Enter Miss Scrumptious, and her Venus in Scorpio is conjunct your Neptune.
The intense way in which she relates and expresses herself as a woman taps into your fantasies. She becomes the embodiment of your romantic ideal, the Perfect Scorpio. Your Neptune blurs the edges of Scorpio, giving her the impression of a dark and precious jewel.
How this plays out depends on the other connections between you. The two of you might enter into a relationship where you think she can do no wrong (at first). She can take advantage of your non-existent boundaries and drain you.
Or perhaps she is the innocent recipient of your feverish projections. Isn’t it amazing how powerful she is! No one has ever been more powerful. Her all-encompassing love heals you. And so forth.
Neptune’s illusions
But Neptune’s illusions can only last so long, and eventually you will discover that she has used you. Or, if she’s a decent person, you might just be disappointed when you realize she doesn’t actually have magical powers.
In fact, her intensity can be a bit much at times. As harsh as this sounds, the disappointment you experience is largely due to your expectations. Or better said: your Neptune. I don’t blame the victim.
If she is a user, she also bears some of the responsibility. But your Neptune has set up a smokescreen for her to hide behind. Consider it a chink in your defense that will require careful patrolling in future relationships.
Revealing potential
Another thing Neptune is infamous for is its ability to reveal potential.
While this may sound like a good thing, potential can often be toxic in an unhealthy relationship. As a Neptune person you can ‘see’ what could be in relation to the planet person. You see the alcoholic’s potential to become sober.
You see the potential of the married man to leave his wife and commit himself to you. You see the potential for the man (who has no romantic interest in you) to wake up and realize that you are his soulmate.
Some of this potential can develop because Neptune allows you to consider all possibilities. But often this view into the future is a mirage.
Higher connection
So where are the good things I alluded to earlier? It really exists.
First, know that a lot depends on how you use your natal Neptune. If you’re a grounded person with a strong sense of self-preservation, and your partner’s Sun in Virgo squares Neptune in Sagittarius (for example), this connection can be relatively harmless.
You may not understand his OCD tendencies, but you are tolerant of his endless nitpicking. You’re cutting him a lot of slack, and since he has his affairs in order (he’s not an addict or cheater), this benefits him. You take the edge off his worries, and when he doubts himself, you remind him of the potential you see.
But you’re grounded enough to keep from turning him into something he’s not.
Apart from the example above, the easy aspects (trines and sextiles) of Neptune are more likely to bring out its positive side. The tension of the hard aspects emphasizes the gap between fantasy and reality. The easy aspects create a mix between Neptune’s idealism and reality.
For example, a trine from your Neptune to your partner’s moon can create a beautiful emotional interface. You intuitively sense what the moon needs, and the moon responds by opening with an effortless nurturing flow.
Easy aspects to Neptune require no effort and add a gentle touch of grace and compassion to relationships. When you and your partner are going through a rough patch, these gentle touches can save the day.
Are Neptune Contacts in Synastry Evidence of a Soulmate Connection?
Well, they can certainly feel this way because you (as a Neptune person) share your awareness of what lies beyond this reality with your partner.
Aspects of Pluto or Saturn, the Nodes and the 12th House are more indicative of the karmic story between two people. But Neptune interactions can make the boundaries between souls more permeable under certain circumstances.
If Neptune rules or aspects your North or South Node, or your 12th House, this is of course directly connected to the karmic story between you and your loved one.
Neptune can bring positive energy
Whether it is a difficult aspect (that is handled well) or an easy aspect, Neptune can contribute positive energy to a relationship. All negative manifestations have a downside. Permeable boundaries allow intimate connection, forgiveness eases a situation that could be tainted by bitterness, and the glimpse of potential can (when used judiciously) sustain a partner who needs encouragement.
When in doubt, know that a little Neptune goes a long way. A few drops of the powerful elixir are all you need to sweeten a relationship.
